An Uncomfortable Splitting of the Legs

Today when I was walking down the halls of my school in between class, I was rushing to my next class. I happened to be wearing my sandals that had a flat bottom with no traction. The lunchroom happens to be on my route to my next class during one of the breaks in between one of my classes. There also happened to be a blob of potatoes on the ground in front of the lunchroom. (You see where this is going don't you.) Well I just so happened to step on the blob of potatoes and did the splits. I can tell you this much...IT HURT LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW!!! I was in pain! But I instantly got up and continued to walk to my next class. It was a weird experience. I didn't even cry out or hear anyone ask if I was OK. I just continued with my life in pain. But I can finally say that I did the splits. (But not successfully.)